Use feedback to identify the next specific improvement - Paper 1

Read before answering

Original passage, 'Station ticket': Mara had bought a return ticket, though she had told nobody she was coming. On the platform she unfolded the letter with her brother's new address. The departure board cleared, then filled again. She wrote 'I am here' on her phone and erased it. When the next train was announced, she wrote the words once more and sent them. Draft: 'All reconciled. Imagery is effective.'